i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
