dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
