i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
