I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
