2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
