i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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