It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
