I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
