please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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