WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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