I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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