Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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