he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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