i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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