I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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