i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
