you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
