i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
