carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
