Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
