No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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