1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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