Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
