It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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