i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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