He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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