I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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