East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Farmville is her only friend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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