I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
