I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
