whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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