I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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