I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize