i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
