His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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