woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
