Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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