Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my shit smells like andre
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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