Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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