Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
