Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
