I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
