Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
