Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
