Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
