Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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