is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Enjoy the penises
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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