So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
