It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
