There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
