Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
