i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
