Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
