Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
