Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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