dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
