Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
