i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
