I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
