I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
