I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
