so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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