Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
