remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
