you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize