who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
