i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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