But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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