I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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