We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
