she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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