i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
