Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
