I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your cock deserves a montage
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
