Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
