Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
