just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is Oprah even human
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
