come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
